Clever thoughts of love by Niklas Luhmann love is a feeling that we can describe well because we have made with love experiences. With the "butterflies in the stomach during a romantic infatuation. With the heart that one comes up, when we deal with a familiar, have loved. Anyone who loves knows and compassion and joy, fear of the loss of his beloved. Love happens to us, it hits like Cupid's arrow to the heart. We seek the vicinity of the beloved, the love is entirely with the person we love in one. If we are loved - and say that love can be - we feel stronger, more confident, more confident, more valuable. Much more could be said on the psychology of love.
Less familiar - it seems to me - we are with the sociology of love. How do we communicate love? How can we show each other that we love? How to recognize the mistress that she is loved? By naming feelings? Love confess? Gifts to give? Niklas Luhmann has collected this surprising and also quite obvious observations (such as love, passion, 1983)
love is shown by the fact that the lover sets his action entirely on the experience of the Beloved. That is: It will not only do all that is required, but anticipate they will. The love must not disclose their identity only when requested, they must ask all questions and anticipate in order not to appear as a duty. Love is not reactive but proactive. The only way they can on the experience to respond to the personal experience of the world of the beloved and move freely in a yet undefined situation. The lover is even determined by the, to which it is simply abandoned, before coming. Lovers read wish from your eyes. This can only happen when the lover is not just something at the other loves, but does all the other person in their unique individuality to the condition of their actions. Also, as the lover of the loved one is responsible. The whole world of others is important. I see the world through the eyes of her lover and including me with the eyes of others. Own actions have to be inserted into the world of another. This to the world as they experienced the other should not be seen as a lover of the submission, obedience, as compliance or conflict avoidance. With an "I care na" love is not satisfied. Act out of love adapts not only to please not only met, not just wishes. The point is to see the world in another sense. This is never easy. Love must take the risk, not knowing ultimately what is good for the other. She holds out the other to confirm where, as he experiences the world.
who loves the world, that the wishes of preferences, fears, joys, hopes, happiness and misfortune of the beloved in his own world into internalized. to act then that is love and this action served its purpose fulfilled in himself alone by love is love, life, when love and love interweave. Who wants to try Love can ask (but who asks it, not love): "Is my lover so that he / she is mine and not his / her world based on sets" (He drives too fast, even though he knows that I not like they work more, even though she knows that it upsets me). Who loves, must exceed his habits and interests, we act he always new and surprising in view of the others.
Is all this possible? Is not that an excessive demand? Yes, that's it. Knowing that it overwhelmed and still love, the love.
